Sunday, January 9, 2011

Eat Poop Terry McMillan!

I have decided to check in at least once a week just so you know I haven't keeled over from lack of loving. I'm still here. This week was a good one. I found out I offended all of my exes that follow my blog (by my last post.)  Mission Accomplished. Cry me a river homeboys. I can only  hope to continue to offend and one day sue your asses for wasting my life. And to the most recent guy that stole 2 whole days of my week, you suck! This is not a friendly post. Each of you failed me. Individually and as a whole. I want out of this circle. After watching What Chilli Wants, (and don't judge me,) I have decided I need to be partnered with a completely new look. Not a circle, maybe a winding road of brillantly colored unknowns. I'm thinking big curly-haired green-eyed Jewish looking Indian face with dimples and dusty Pumas. Yes, thats what I want this season. I prefer he speaks broken English and tells me how pretty I am. I want him to ride horses on the beach and drive Italian cars with names I can't seem to pronounce. No, I want him to drive a Prius and cook like the Iron Chefs on Food Network. I will drive the fast car and ride the horses on the beach. My circle, yes my, "How Are You Going To Fail Me Today" circle has once again brught me to this point. Keep your Timberlands and your baby mamas. Embrace your struggle and Jay-Z. I will be reading Outliers over sushi and trying to figure out why I at some point decided Waiting To Exhale was the way to live. Kiss my whole newly international ass Terry McMillan! You should be charged criminally.

1 comment:

  1. SUPERBLY WRITTEN! I love it and seeing as I often have a craving for "milk", I feel ya. Seth Rogen is more my speed though. Rich, jewish,funny,smart water drinking, facebook loving, hang out with his friends being random, skinny courdoroy pant wearing, nickleback loving, dreidle spinning, matzo ball soup eating, dark thick curly haired Jew boys. But not just lose with last names ending in "Stein, moser, Apatow, cohen and samberg"....Conan O'brein this means you too.

    Malzatoff Baby!!!

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